The Jerk Theory
by CornerofRadical21
Summary: Marshall Lee was a nice, kind teenager with dreams of becoming a famous singer, but when he goes through a bad break up he turns into a jerk to get girls. He calls it the Jerk Theory and it worked... until he met her. Cover not mine, T for language, ftm Marceline/transgender Marceline, Bubbline
1. Chapter 1

New story that's been in the works for a while, but just some background information: This is based off of a movie made in 2009 that i thoroughly enjoy called "The Jerk Theory" starring Josh Henderson, Jenna Dewan-Tatum, and Tom Arnold (You can find it on YouTube). Secondly, I intentionally made this story to be with the main characters of Adventure Time (no gender-bent characters except a name). I also portrayed Marceline transgender cause I, myself, enjoy connecting to characters through personal experiences, so I hope some of you can too. I feel it's different than having Bubblegum be with trans Marshall Lee than cis Marshall Lee, but don't get me wrong; my favorite pair of all time is the original Bubbline. the characters are a little ooc to make it fit the story line too. Anyways, hope you like it!

I do not own Adventure Time, just this story.

* * *

"The Jerk Theory chapter 1: and ACTION!"

"No doubt that girls love a bad boy. They love the thrills, the chase and the idea that they can change a bad boy into a good guy (Cause somehow them changing is a sign of their love?). Anyways, that's why I came up with the Jerk Theory and I feel like it's my duty to share my knowledge with all of the 'nice guys'" Marshall Lee said making air quotation marks to his best friend, Keila, holding a Camcorder as they walk down the halls of Ooo High school.

"She wants a commitment." Some random student in the hall says. Not too sure on his real name but people call him Flambo.

"Just tell her you don't want a girlfriend, bro." He says casually as they walk towards the outside cafeteria seating.

He then spots his ex, Ash, drinking from the water fountain. They dated for 2 years and Marsh doesn't even know why he wasted all that time with him. He was always asking him to make sandwiches-. They dated before Marshall came out as transgender, but when he did Ash seemed... weird about it. Marsh just thought he needed time to understand. About a week after, he shows up to Ash's house for Prom. The door opens to reveal Ash. He looked so handsome in his tux that Marshall was sure he was drooling. This couldn't be more perfect. Just him and his boyfriend going to junior pr- cue the record scratch. Maja, wearing a dress matching Ash, comes into Marsh's field of view and his heart drops.

"Didn't you get my text? We were voted king and queen so Maja thought we should go together." Ash explained.

Marshall was frozen; he couldn't believe that Ash just left him for that bitch and for a girl too! "That was a low blow, but if people don't respond to the nice guy then I'll just have to play the jerk." Marshall explained to the camera.

They made it to the school's courtyard where a stage was set up and a crowd formed waiting for the show. Keila gave Finn, a younger student who is a year below them all, the camera while she grabbed her guitar. Marshall hopped up on stage joint his band, Marshall Lee and the Scream Queens, and grabbed his bass looking out into the crowd filled with adoring fans.

"The only thing chicks love more than an all-star athlete... is a rockstar." _(Song: The Jerk Theory Song - Josh Henderson)_

What in the world was I thinkin',  
When I went and bought you those flowers and candy?  
I was thinking that every girl wants some nice guy,  
Someone she can trust but, I guess, I was not right...  
What is wrong with me?  
Oh, do I have to be  
A jerk, so you want me.  
A jerk, so we can be...

Together happily ends, This time  
Always use you.  
If you ask me nice then I'll be there,  
And use you.  
Frequently I'll tell you:  
You're fat and annoy me.  
Frequently I'll tell you:  
I don't want a girlfriend.  
What is wrong me?  
Oh, do I have to be,  
A jerk, so you want me?  
A jerk so we can be...

Together happily ends,  
I won't ever call you.  
Ends, I will, she'd on you,  
Whatever I want to.  
After that I'll tell you:  
I'm sorry. Forgive me.  
Then I don't know why,  
But you want to be with me.  
What is wrong with you?  
I said, what it is true:  
You're forcing me to play,  
This same old stupid games,  
'Cause you want what you can't have,  
So I have to treath you bad.  
I don't need to be so mean,  
But you're forcing me to be,  
A jerk so you want,  
A jerk so we can be,  
Together happily, together happily...

Then you'll leave me and you'll find a man.  
Who love you so much: he'll ask for your help.  
Then I can along, and treath you,  
Like you're trash.  
I don't know why but yo' still wants me back...  
What is wrong with you?  
I said, what it is true:  
You're forcin' me to play,  
This same old stupid games,  
'Cause you want what you can't have,  
So I have to treath you bad.  
I don't need to be so mean,  
But you're forcin' me to be,  
A jerk so you want me,  
A jerk, so we can be  
Together happily,  
Together happily...  
We'll be together happily.

After the show, manager Simon Petrikov approached them.

"That was some show you put on. I like the whole punk rock scene, but you have to show me you can have different sounds. If you can do that then you guys are well on your way to having a contract with Ice Kingdom records." He says with a smile before walking out leaving the band to celebrate.

* * *

The Next day at school They were all hanging by Msrshall's locker and as usual Keila filmed her group of friends like she did so often. Guy, the keyboardist, Bongo, on the drums, Jake, a viola player but not part of the band, and finally Finn, Jake's little brother. Just as they started filming, a girl with fiery red, orange hair passes by and sends a smile towards Finn.

"Hey. You just went out with her last night now do not call her for 4 days. 4 days." Marshall repeats. "Once you call after 4 days, she'll be excited."

"So Marsh, how has the jerk theory been workin' so far?" Keila questions.

Over the past few years, Marshall has gone on quite a few dates. He recalls going to a restaurant with some girl who was telling him about her day while he was jotting down song lyrics that were popping up in his head. She finally notices he's not paying attention and stops talking.

"Marshall, Marsh!" She says waving her hand to try to get his attention.

"Huh?"

"You don't appreciate me."

"No I don't." He answers as he continues writing.

And then there was the other one he took to the same restaurant. Sarah? Serena? Sam? I don't fucking know.

"Why are you breaking up with me?"

Marshall sits up and leans forward taking her hand into his trying to look sincere.

"Honestly, you're really slutty and annoying, but I'll call you if I ever get lonely."

"You're irresistible." She says with a smitten look on her face.

"Thank you."

Then how could he forget the one girl he picked up but keep driving away as she tried to get into the car.

"Are you coming or what?" He yelled out his car window to her.

"You're the one that's an hour late." She says as she reaches for the door but Marshall taps the gas pedal and moves forward leaving her behind. Eventually, he stops so she gets in.

"You're so hot."

"I know. You got my gas money?"

She reaches into her bra and pulls out a 20 and hands it to him before they drive off.

"Uh it's been working pretty well I'd like to say." He says smiling into the camera.

* * *

"It's over, Braco." Bonnibel Bubblegum says as she looks over the edge of the wall they were standing on. Today was rope day meaning the class had to climb or repel down a rope attached to a wall. Bonnibel was gonna repel down but now looking over the edge she can't do it due to her fear of heights. Actually it's not a fear of heights, but more of a fear of falling.

"What do you mean it's over?" Braco said shocked.

"It means what it means"

With a huff, "Fine, but I want that bracelet back"

"Fine; here." She said as she took off the pink bracelet lined with cheap, fake jewels that was tied around her wrist and threw it over the wall.

"Wha-what are you doing?! Those are real diamonds!" He yelled as his vision followed the falling bracelet.

"I know they're fake, Braco."

"Fine. I don't need you. There are plenty of girls down there that want me." Braco said as he grabbed the rope and repelled down. Now Bubblegum had to choose whether to use the rope to get down or wimp out. She chose the latter and walked down the stairs back to the beautiful, beautiful ground.

In the locker room, Bubblegum meets up with her best friend, Lady Rainicorn, a tall Korean girl with rainbow dyed hair. They were childhood friends who did everything together. Even dye their hair.

"He made you give back the bracelet?" She asked in disbelief. Bonnie holds up her arm to show that it wasn't there anymore.

"That's such a bitch move."

"I know. I'm so sick of dating jerks." She says running a hand through her long pink hair.

"Yeah I know what you mean." The bell rings indicating they were late for their next class. "C'mon. We can't be late for Mr. Lemongrab's psychology class again." Lady says grabbing her friend's hand and running out the locker room.

Just as the bell for 5th period rings, the band and their friends scramble to get everything out of their lockers and run to their class. Guy and Bongo had foreign language so they split from the group going right.

"Hey don't forget! Gig at the Nightosphere tonight at 7!" Marsh yelled after them. The rest of them ran left hoping their respective teachers didn't lock 'em out.

"Yo we're so fucked. We can't get another detention." Keila announced to the group. The four of them went straight down the hall but Finn and Keila split from the other two going up the stairs to math. Marshall and Jake made it to the social studies/history hall and stood outside of their classes, which happen to be right next to each other, and put their hands on the door knob. Just as they were about to enter their classes, two girls came around the corner running past them. Marsh was stunned by the beautiful pink haired girl running by in what seemed like slow motion. Jake was the same but paid attention more to her Korean friend next to her. After they turned the next corner and left, the two boys looked at each other and just went into their class looking a little dazed.

As Bonnie and Lady went through the doors of Lemongrab's class he immediately acknowledged them.

"Ms. Bubblegum and Ms. Rainicorn, do I need to give you detention for being late?"

"Go easy on her, Dog Buns. Bubblegum got dumped today" a student said smiling. Bubblegum didn't know her but she was known for dating Ash for a while. Maja maybe?

"No I didn't" She says in disbelief.

"Very well... Take your seats." Lemongrab says in his screechy high pitched voice. As Lady and Bubblegum take their seats, Maja whispers to her friend just loud enough for Bonnibel to hear

"I head Braco dumped her 'cause she wouldn't put out." Maja said laughing.

Great. A bad rumor. Just the thing she needs right now.

* * *

That was chapter one! Let me know what you think. Longer, shorter, like it, hate it, any mistakes?


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! This next chapter is a little shorter, but I have longer chapters in the works. Lemme know what you think (longer chapters, shorter chapters, etc.) I'm gonna try to update weekly too!

* * *

"The Jerk Theory chapter 2 and ACTION!" Finn yells over the cheering of the crowd into Keila's camera as he points it to himself. He then points it towards the band onstage who look like they're preparing for another song.

I took her out. It was a Friday night  
I wore cologne to get the feeling right  
We started making out, and she took off my pants  
But then I turned on the TV

And that's about the time she walked away from me  
Nobody likes you when you're 23  
And are still more amused by TV shows  
What the hell is ADD?

My friends say I should act my age  
What's my age again?  
What's my age again?

Then later on, on the drive home  
I called her mom from a pay phone  
I said I was the cops, and your husband's in jail  
This state looks down on sodomy

And that's about the time that bitch hung up on me  
Nobody likes you when you're 23  
And are still more amused by prank phone calls  
What the hell is Call ID?

My friends say I should act my age  
What's my age again?  
What's my age again?

And that's about the time she walked away from me  
Nobody likes you when you're 23  
And you still act like you're in freshman year  
What the hell is wrong with me?

My friends say I should act my age  
What's my age again?  
What's my age again?

That's about the time that she broke up with me  
No one should take themselves so seriously  
With many years ahead to fall in line  
Why would you wish that on me?  
I never wanna act my age  
What's my age again?  
What's my age again?

What's my age again?

The band finishes up their last song for the night and the crowd is loving them.

"Thank you. We are Marshall Lee and the Scream Queens!" Marshall says into the microphone resulting in loud crazy cheering. The band hops off stage trying to come down from the rush of performing live. They love the feeling; it's like nothing else, and they hope that they can do it for a living. They've been playing at this club, The Nightosphere, for a few months or so for some extra publicity and money. If they get that contract then that'll be such a huge leap toward their dreams.

"Did you get it?" Keila asks heading over to Finn to check out the footage.

"Yup! You guys rocked!" Finn said jumping up and down. He was always a hyperactive guy. They all took a seat at a table and ordered 6 root beers to cool off.

"Hey did you hear that Braco got dumped today?" Jake asked.

"Wasn't he dating that candy girl?" Marsh said.

"You mean PB? Yeah. Pink hair, super smart, really nice." Finn pitched in.

"You mean her?" Guy said pointing towards a table where a pink haired girl laughing at something her friend said. Everyone's eyes followed and they kind of ended up staring. Both girls looked up and noticed them. The boys and Keila quickly turned their heads back hoping that it wasn't that close of a call.

"Yeah. The most believable story is that she broke up with him." Jake announced bringing everyone's attention back to their own table.

"Well while you guys talk about it. I'm gonna get her number." Marshall said as he got up and walked towards their table.

* * *

"You know what's interesting?" Bubblegum says as a rhetorical question.

"What?" Lady responds.

"The probability of someone hitting on one of us or just meeting someone new." Bubblegum says as she scans the room.  
"We know at least 40% of the people in here from school so they know we're both single. Single women are more likely to be approached, and I'd like to think we're above average regarding our attractiveness."

"Pssh! I'd say we're both like 100 on a scale of 1-10. Individually." Lady says as she flips her rainbow hair in a cliché way making Bubblegum laugh.

"Anyways… I bet you $5 someone comes up to us."

Lady faked a gasp and put her hand on her chest. "Bonnibel Bubblegum, gambling?"

"It's a friendly wager." She says with a smile and a shrug. "Are you in?"

"Eh, why not?" Lady says as they shook hands.

"Hey look up at the table with the band right... Now." Lady says noticing them out of her peripheral vision. They both look up and everyone's head quickly snapped back to their own conversation. They laughed at their nosy neighbors but were too preoccupied in their conversation to notice the black haired boy approaching. He took a seat at their table surprising both Lady and Bubblegum. He said something in his deep, husky, yet smooth voice.

* * *

"He-llo ladies. Name's Marshall Lee and yours is?" Marsh said drawing out the syllables trying to be as smooth as possible as he took a seat a cross from the both of them.

Taken back, Bubblegum finally speaks up, "Bonnibel Bubblegum."

"And I'm not interested." Lady said giggling a little obviously showing she was joking. The joke made Bubblegum laugh and that sound was something Marshall could get used to.

"Ooo ouch. That hurt, rainbow." Marshall said clutching his chest faking pain.

"Hey Bon, I'm gonna grab another soda. Will you be okay?" Lady said.

Bubblegum took a moment to answer but took a glance at Marshall and finally said "Yeah I'll be fine." Lady gets up and leaves towards the bar a little worried for Bubblegum but she knows she can take care of herself.

"Your friend seems fun. What about you?" Marsh asks with a smirk on his face.

"I'd like to think so, but a different kind of fun."

"Is it the kind of fun that I'd be interested in?"

"I doubt it. Do lines like that work?"

Taken back, Marsh quickly replies "Yeah I have a fair amount of success with them, yes. Why? Are they not working for you?" Which earns a chuckle from Bubblegum.

"I don't think it's the lines. It's your delivery. Lacks sincerity" She says as she gets up putting on her jacket. Lady returns to the table and notices that Bubblegum is ready to leave and gets the hint. She begins to collect get stuff and they make their way to the door.

"Hey. Uh what about my good night kiss?" Marsh asks as a last ditch effort.

"Maybe some other time." She says as she turns around to reply but doesn't stop walking towards the door. He drops his head down in disappointment but there's always tomorrow.

Outside of the club, the two walk towards Lady's car and Bubblegum holds her hand out as Lady slaps a 5 dollar bill into it.

* * *

Ugh Marshall hated science. It was the worst subject to him even though he liked his teacher. He understood math, history, English, ANYTHING, but if you ask him to name the element that has 10 electrons, 10 protons, and 10 neutrons he would have no clue and just stare at you. The answer is neon by the way. Eventually getting tired of Ms. Groff's lecture, he raises his hand and asks to be excused. He grabs a drink at the water fountain and as he looks up to his surprise walking towards the water fountain was his next target, Bonnibel. He stands by the fountain and greets her.

"Funny running into you here. You come here often?" He asks as he holds down the water fountain bar button for her. Surprised at this act of kindness Bubblegum accepts and leans down to drink from the stream only for Marsh to let go before she could.

"Haha very funny." Bubblegum holds the button down for herself since it's apparent he wouldn't.

"I know I am. How about that number now?"

"I only give my number to good boys." She says as she walks back to class.

"Fine. I have connections you know. I can get your number within the hour!" He yells after her but she didn't seem to care and kept walking.

"Dammit." He walks back to class and through the doors of chemical hell. A few notes, ton of songs, and a nap later the class was finally over. Marshall grabs his backpack and books it towards the door.

"Mr. Abadeer. I'd like to speak with you for a moment please." Ms. Groff says before he could walk through the door.

"Yes. Ms. G?" He says as he walks towards her desk.

"We would love if your band would play at the dance this year and the upcoming football game. You guys are very good." She says as she hands him a flyer for the prom.

"Great. I'll ask the band. Thank you Ms. G!" He says as he runs out the classroom excitedly. Betty Groff shakes her head with a smile and gets ready for her next class.


	3. Chapter 3

"The Jerk Theory chapter 3 and ACTION!" Keila before having the camera snatched out of her hand by Bongo, who just used it to look at himself.

"Man I look good." Bongo said running a hand through his dyed gray hair. Keila laughs and chases Bongo around trying to get her camera.

'How are they this energetic after school? I guess it's better this way because we're playing after this quarter.' Marshall thought looking off onto the football field of where the Ooo Knights were leading by 7 points. Suddenly Bubblegum passes by holding some concessions.

"Still working on that number?" She says taking a sip of her soda.

"I already have it." Marshall says holding up a paper.

"Oh really? I'm surprised you haven't called me yet"

"Oh I'm not keeping this. I'm sellin' your number." Marshall holds up the slip of paper above his head. "5 bucks for a virgin's cell number! Any takers? Anybody?"

Just as it seems like no one wanted it a shorter boy runs up and hands Marshall $5. Bubblegum just rolls her eyes and keeps walking.

"Jerk." She says as she leaves. Lady and some other girl wearing purple follows her not believing what just happened. Marshall hisses at Lady as she passes by to top it all off too.

"TOUCHDOWN! The Ooo Knights score!" The announcer yells into the mic. The wide receiver who scored the touchdown takes off his helmet revealing Braco.

"Ugh didn't you date him?" LSP asks eating her sandwich that they got at the concessions stand.

"Unfortunately." She states.

"So what's with you and Marshall Lee Abadeer?" LSP loved to gossip and was known as the most untrustworthy person with a secret but she was a loyal friend in the end and a good person... Deep down. Deep, deep, deep down.

"What about him? He's a jerk and not my type."

"Yeah. Did you see what he just did? He just sold Bon's phone number to some random guy. What's his name again?"

"Ricardio. He's had a crush on me since freshman year, but also not interested."

"Ew Ricardio. He used to be cool until he turned flippin' lame and creepy. Anyways I heard he used to be super nice until his boyfriend left him for Maja. And now he just acts like that to pick up girls but in my opinion he's way hotter as a bad boy, but not as hot as Brad. Oh my glob did I tell you guys what Brad did this weekend?! Brad..." LSP rambled on long after Bubblegum stopped listening. She turned her head over to the concessions stand where Marshall was currently stealing someone's popcorn without them noticing. 'Maybe I could give him a chance.' PB thought to herself.

"Did you get the popcorn?" Jake asks getting a little hungry. Marshall tosses the bag to his beastly appetited friend.

"All yours buddy. Hey it's half time. We got a show to rock!" Marshall says hyping up his band. They all gathered to the center of the field except Jake who was currently eating the stolen popcorn. Finn was on camera duty again not that he minds. Just as they were about to play you can hear a loud boo.

"Boooooo! You guys suck!" Braco yells cuffing his mouth to amplify his voice. Ash, who was sitting next to him on the bench, slaps the back of his head making him stop. Marshall was about to start again hopefully without anymore interruptions but he quickly turns to his band and they all get in a huddle. Everyone in the crowd is confused and begin quietly talking asking what's happening. Then with a smirk and the smuggest face ever Marshall faces the microphone and strikes the notes on his bass.

When he was seeing her  
You could see he had his doubts  
And now he's missing her  
Because he knows he's missing out  
Now it's haunting him  
The memories like a ghost  
He's so terrified  
Cause no one else even comes close

He's a guy that you should feel sorry for  
He had the world but he thought that he wanted more  
I owe it all to the mistake he made back then  
I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend

So then, along comes me,  
This undeserving mess (undeserving mess)  
Who would believe my life  
Would be so blessed (life would be so blessed)  
Two years ago  
He left all that debris (left all that debris)  
Who would of known  
He would leave everything I need

He's a guy that you should feel sorry for  
He had the world but he thought that he wanted more  
I owe it all to the mistake he made back then  
I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend

If it wasn't for him  
I would still be searching  
If it wasn't for him  
I wouldn't know my best friend  
If it wasn't for him  
He would be able to see  
If it wasn't for him  
He would be as happy as me

When she and I settle down you can bet  
That he is going to have to settle for less  
He's someone that I would hate to be  
I got the girl and he's left with just the memory.

He's a guy that you should feel sorry for  
He had the world but he thought that he wanted more  
I owe it all to the mistake he made back then  
I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend

If it wasn't for him  
I would still be searching  
If it wasn't for him  
I wouldn't know my best friend  
If it wasn't for him  
He would be able to see  
If it wasn't for him  
He would be as happy as me

The crowd erupted in cheers and laughter for the Scream Queens. Braco was now silent and a little red from anger.

* * *

Finally school's over. Keila and Marshall were just hanging out talking about music by his locker.

"Hey did you hear Taylor Swift is coming to town?!" Marsh asks shaking Keila by the shoulders.

"HA! No" Keila says laughing at Marsh's obviously exaggerated excitement.

"Well she is. Would you come to the concert with me?"

"You really need to get over your celebrity crush on Taylor Swift."

"Never!"

"I'd rather go to the All Time Low concert with you or at least like Breaking Benjamin."

"Well we could do that but why not also T-swizzle?"

"Cause she's not even that good!"

Marshall gasped and grasped his chest faking offense.

"You take that ba-" He was cut off by Keila points towards the doors of the school. Following her direction Marshall sees Bubblegum walking out the front of the doors smiling at him.

"Gotta go. Watch and learn." He says before trying to close his locker. Unfortunately, all his books and binders fall out.

"Oh I'm watching and learning alright." Keila says with some sass and a smirk.

"Dammit." He says as he shoves papers into whatever binder and in turn shove those into his locker as fast as he can. Eventually he's able to close his locker and he runs towards the door when he almost crashed into someone he thought he'd never talk to again, Ash.

"Hey Marce."

"Do I know you?" Marsh says regaining his composure from the close collision.

"Very funny. Can we talk?" Ash says in all seriousness. At this point Marsh is trying to find Bonnibel in the parking lot through the windows but he has a terrible angle.

"Look I gotta go." He says as he fast walks through the doors and scans the parking lot but he already sees her in a light pink car pulling out of her parking space.

'Fuck. I missed again.' Marsh thought as he walked to his motorcycle in the parking lot. Standing by his motorcycle was Ash.

'Ugh can't a guy get a break.'

"We really need to talk." Ash says as he walks closer to Marshall.

"There's nothing to talk about. You left me for Maja and we both moved on."

"I want to get back together. I miss you Marcy. C'mon. I see you chasing that dweeb, Bonnibel. She's not even worth it."

"Shut up, Ash. You don't even know her."

"I know she's not your type."

"Well you weren't my type either." Marsh had almost enough. He took out his helmet from under the seat and got ready to put it on.

"C'mon Marceline. I know you still like me. We can go back to the way it used to be."

"DON'T call me that. That's not my name. And no, Ash. I don't like you. I've moved on and you should too. The chances of you and me again are nonexistent." Marshall put on his helmet and hopped on his bike and drove out the parking lot leaving the white haired boy behind.

* * *

"Hey can you do us a favor and take BMO to the museum?" Jake says over the phone.

"Why can't you?" Marsh replies.

"My parents took the car. I'm sorry. I owe you a solid."

"Fine. I'll be over in 20." Marshall says hanging up. He just woke up 5 minutes ago by Jake calling him at 9 am on a Saturday to take their little adopted sibling BMO on their trip to the Museum today. He didn't mind too much; He loved little BMO. The messy black haired boy gets up from his bed and grabs a black shirt and puts on a red and black flannel over it. He then reaches for a pair of black skinny jeans and puts them on over his blue boxer briefs. To top it all off he puts on a pair of red converse. He grabs a bowl of cereal and downs it. After a quick dish washing he grabs his car keys and jumps in his car. Pulling out of his drive way he pops in the new All Time Low album "Last Young Renegade" and jams all the way to Finn and Jake's.

He pulls up to their house and honks the horn to let them know he's outside. The front door opens and a little kid wearing teal and a hat runs out and Jake isn't too far behind. Marshall gets out and as soon as he does BMO jumps into his arms.

"Marshall!"

"Hey little B. You lookin' cuter than ever." Marshall says as he adjusts their little baseball cap.

"Thanks!"

"Thanks again for taking them. I would but I didn't realize that my parents were taking the car. They should be done around 6. I can pick him up though." Jake spoke up.

"It's cool. I love my little buddy. You're so cute I could eat you up." Marshall says as he shows his sharper than average canine teeth.

"Ahhhh!" BMO screams and buries their head into Marshall's shoulders.

"Awww I'm sorry buddy." Marshall says laughing.

"Aw BMO. Marsh was just kidding." Jake says as he pats BMO on the back laughing. They said their goodbyes and drove off. Marsh put on some kid appropriate music like... Radio Disney or some shit. Do kids listen to that? They eventually made it to the museum and parked.

"Oh! There's my class!" BMO says pointing to the large group of children with an older lady who Marsh assumes is the teacher. He gets out and walks to the other side to let BMO out. He runs over to the group of kids but doesn't stop next to the kids; he runs over to a teenager with pink hair and she picks him up.

"Bubblegum!" BMO shouts.

"Hey BMO! How'd you get here?" Bubblegum asks. BMO points to Marshall who was still by the car. He couldn't believe it; She was here. He locks his car, shoves his hands into his pockets and walks over to them.

"Who's this?" Bubblegum asks BMO staring at Marshall with a smirk.

"That's my brother's friend! He's nice!"

"Oh is he?" Bubblegum says with a giggle. Marshall made a groaning sound as he face palmed smiling. He makes his way over to the teacher to let her know BMO is present.

"Mornin' ma'am. I'm Marshall Lee and BMO is here for today's field trip." He says politely.

"Oh how wonderful. I'm Mrs. Tree-trunks. Our student volunteer over there is Bonnibel Bubblegum. Would you like to join us on the tour, Marshall Lee?"

He takes a glance at Bonnibel and she smiles at him and he smiles in return.

"I could stay." Marshall says before taking out his phone texting Jake that he can take BMO home.

* * *

This museum has everything! The town of Ooo is pretty small so it's kind of an all in one museum. They first visited the petting zoo and got to feed the animals. Marshall just sat on the fence watching the kids and Bubblegum as feed and pet the goats. Suddenly he feels a tug at his undershirt and he turns to find a goat gnawing at it.

"AH!" He yelps attracting the unwanted attention of the whole class including the teacher and Bonnibel. He pulls his shirt from the goat but pretty soon they're playing tug of war. The goat lets go and Marshall ends up in the floor resulting in a uproar of laughter. Then they head to the activity area where they all draw something related to the museum. Bonnibel was watching all the kids draw when she notices Marshall across the room leaning against the wall. She decides to join him but before she could say anything he speaks first.

"I'm sorry about the phone number virgin thing. It wasn't right" He apologizes.

"You don't have to apologize." She says trying to be polite.

"No I want to. It's not something to make fun of."

Bubblegum was so surprised but happy at the same time knowing he really isn't a bad guy.

"Besides, the phone number was to a retirement home." He says as she lets out a laugh.

"You're great with them you know. The kids. It's a gift." Marshall compliments.

"Thanks. I love all of them. What's your gift?" She questions.

"Music I hope" Marshall says with a sad smile and laugh. Bubblegum could detect so much insecurity in that answer it made her heart break.

"You're really good. I've heard you guys before and you have a lot of talent." She says putting a hand on his shoulder offering a reassuring smile.

"Thanks. Good enough to take time out of your Saturday next week to come hear me play?" He says returning her smile.

"Maybe." Bubblegum says smiling but Marsh knew that was a strong yes. They notice the kids are grouping together to go to the dinosaur exhibit so they walk over to join them.

All the kids were so mesmerized with how huge the dinosaurs skeletons were. They would shout out the dinosaur name if they knew it every time they passed a skeleton. Marshall and Bubblegum trailed behind.

"What's your favorite animal?" Marsh asks trying to make conversation.

"I have to say dolphins."

"Really? Dolphins are known to have sex for pleasure."

"...have sex for pleasure. I know." She says rolling her eyes and finishing his sentence with him.

"What about you?"

"Mmm I like wolves."

"Haha really? Did you know wolves mate for life?"

"Did I say the wolf? I meant lions. Lions are so cool and are total players. Living the dream."

They continued on the tour for the day and Marshall drives a very tired BMO home.


	4. Chapter 4

"The Jerk Theory chapter 4 and ACTION!" Keila says into her camera as she enters a house blasting music with different colored strobe lights and people flooding the place. She goes through the front door and steps into the living room; this place is packed with people talking and drinking out of red cups. She walks up the stairs, out double doors onto a balcony dodging all the party goers. From the balcony you can see a huge pool and people swimming and sitting on the sidelines. She turns left and goes down the stairs; she spots Marshall with his ukulele singing poolside to a group of people sitting and standing around him.

Na na na na, oh oh  
Na na na na, oh oh  
Na na na na, oh oh

When the leader of the bad guys sang,  
Something soft and soaked in pain,  
I heard the echo from his secret hideaway,  
He must've forgot to close his door,  
As he cranked out those dismal chords,  
And his four walls declared him insane.

I found my way,  
Right time, wrong place,  
As I pled my case.

You're the judge, oh no, set me free,  
You're the judge, oh no, set me free,  
I know my soul's freezing,  
Hell's hot for good reason, so please, take me.

Na na na na, oh oh  
Na na na na, oh oh  
Na na na na, oh oh

Three lights are lit but the fourth one's out,  
I can tell 'cause it's a bit darker than the last night's bout,  
I forgot about the drought of light bulbs in this house,  
So I head out, down a route I think is heading south,

But I'm not good with directions and I hide behind my mouth,  
I'm a pro at imperfections and I'm best friends with my doubt,  
And now that my mind's out, and now I hear it clear and loud,  
I'm thinking, "Wow, I probably shoulda stayed inside my house."

I found my way,  
Right time, wrong place,  
As I pled my case.

You're the judge, oh no, set me free,  
You're the judge, oh no, set me free,  
I know my soul's freezing,  
Hell's hot for good reason, so please,

I don't know if this song is a surrender or a revel,  
I don't know if this one is about me or the devil.

I don't know if this song is a surrender or a revel,  
I don't know if this one is about me or the devil.

You're the judge, oh no, set me free, oh no  
You're the judge, oh no, set me free, oh no  
I know my soul's freezing,  
Hell's hot for good reason, so please,

Na na na na, oh oh  
Na na na na, oh oh  
Na na na na, oh oh  
Na na na na, oh oh (You're the judge, oh no, set me free)  
Na na na na, oh oh (You're the judge, oh no, set me free)  
Na na na na, oh oh (You're the judge, oh no, set me free)  
(You're the judge, oh no, set me free)

Keila leaves before he finishes the song to go over to the bar where the rest of their friends were. Jake and Guy were the only ones there. Finn was doing cannonballs in the pool and Bongo was somewhere picking up girls.

"Hey what's up guys?" Keila asks.

"I'm about to go break in the dance floor. Wanna come?" Jake says.

"Hell yeah." Keila says as she high fives him. Marshall finishes his song and you can hear clapping and cheering. Afterwards, He walks over to the bar to meet up with his friends.

"Yo what's up dudes?"

"Jake and I are gonna hit the dance floor. You down?"

Before he could respond, Bubblegum comes up to them.

"Hey you were really good." She says smiling.

"Thanks. Guys, this is Bubblegum. Bubblegum, this is Jake, Keila, Guy and Finn and Bongo should be around here somewhere. Anyways, nah I have plans." Marshall answers as he walks off after finishing his sentence.

"You coming?" He says to Bonnibel waiting for her to catch up.

"Bye!" She says to the group with a wave and follows Marshall.

"Oh well. Wanna go Guy?" Jake asks. Guy doesn't say anything, instead he just shrugs and the dancing duo take that as a yes dragging him onto the dance floor.

"Let me show you how it's done!" Jake yells.

* * *

The two got into Marshall's car and before he started the engine he looks over to her.

"How do you feel about heights?"

"Heights? Um I'm actually really scared of heights." She says getting a little nervous. Without another word, Marshall starts the car and drives off. Every minute Bubblegum got more and more nervous. Eventually they made it to a building with glass walls and inside you can see a giant gray wall with colored rocks on it. People were climbing and repelling down and Bonnibel knew exactly what was happening.

"Rock climbing..." She says with a gulp.

"Yeah! I love rock climbing. But don't worry you won't get hurt. I'll be there." Marshall says trying to comfort her. They go inside and Marshall goes to the front counter where a very tall, built, woman was on her phone.

"Hey Susan. Two, please." He says pulling out his wallet.

"Ooo two this time. Who's the lucky date?" She says as she takes the money from his hand and puts in unto the cash register and prints out two tickets. He points back to Bubblegum who's just staring at the wall in fear.

"Oh hey! Bubblegum!" Susan yells as she waves towards the pink girl. Bubblegum immediately looked to the source of the noise and smiled when she found out who it was. She walks over and greets the cashier.

"Hey Susan. I forgot you worked here."

"Yeah. I didn't think I'd ever see you around here."

"Oh well as you can see I'm kinda forced to be here."

"I'd hate to interrupt but how do you two know each other?" Marsh asks because at this point he's totally confused.

"You know she goes to our school right? She's captain of the weightlifting team." Bubblegum asks a little in disbelief.

"Really? Oh well you know me. Never gave a shit about sports." Marshall says with a shrug.

"You like sports. You told me you like basketball." Susan chips in.

"Yeah... I don't like school organized sports. I don't like school." Marshall says as he walks off towards the wall.

Bubblegum rolls her eyes and Susan notices.

"Hey don't worry about him. That's just how he acts; he's actually really nice." Susan says

"So I've been told." She says sulking off towards the dreaded wall.

"Also don't worry. He comes here a lot and I've seen him. He's good." Susan says to her before she walks off.

* * *

They get hooked up to the harnesses and to the rope pulley attached to the wall.

Marshall climbs up a few steps but notices Bubblegum not moving. He extends his arm and hand to her.

"Trust me." She takes his hand and climbs to his level.

After about 30 minutes Bubblegum was just as good as Marshall and she was having the time of her life. The rush of overcoming her fear made this date a thousand times better. They even had a race to the bell at the top, which was super close, but in the end Marshall beat Bubblegum by 0.2 seconds.

"That was amazing!" She says as they leave and walk towards the car.

"You were amazing. See. You conquered your fear." Marshall says.

"I know! I never knew rock climbing was so fun. But tell me. What's your biggest fear?"

Marshall doesn't answer but instead stares into Bubblegum's beautiful eyes and leans down closing his eyes expecting a kiss but after a second or two he opens his eyes and sees Bubblegum in front of him with an unimpressed look on her face.

"Rejection." He says, making her laugh as they both get into the car. The drive home wasn't as awkward as he thought it would be after that embarrassing incident.

"So tell me about yourself." Bubblegum says out of the blue.

"Uh what do you wanna know?"

"Anything. Where were you born, favorite color, what you wanna do in the future. Anything."

"Okay... Let's see. Born and raised here in Ooo, my birthday is October 31st, on Halloween, my favorite color is red, and I want to be in a famous band and make music as a career. Your turn."

"My favorite color is pink, I was born here too but spent a few years in Germany, my birthday is in the spring, and I want to be a scientist more specifically a chemist."

"Wow that's nerdy." He says teasing. She replies with a laugh and a small punch to his arm which actually held some power. Eventually after a little small talk, they made it to Bonnibel's house. They said their goodbyes and Marshall drove home. Once entering his house he's greeted by his poodle, Schwabl, and calls Keila. After a few rings she picks up sounding a little groggy.

"Hello? Marshmallow?"

"Haha yes. Why do you sound like you were sleeping? It's like 9:30."

"Ugh Jake and I had a drinking contest after you left. Guy drove us home thankfully."

"Damn. Sounds like you had a blast." He says as he pets Schwabl and sits on the couch.

"Yeah but how about you? Judging from the time I guess you didn't get lucky huh?"

"Nah, I didn't really try, but I think this one's different."

"Mhmm."

"Like she wants to be a scientist."

"Mhmm."

"She's different and I like it. She knows what she wants and she goes after it. I've dated so many girls in the past year or so, basically the whole school, and I've lost all respect for girls really. I mean except you." Marsh said as he got up to go to his bathroom. He goes into the medicine cabinet and pulls out a tiny clear bottle along with a needle.

"Mhmm."

"This whole Jerk Theory thing has made me see what girls respond to and it's stupid. But she doesn't respond the same way. I respect it. A lot. I can't remember that last time I felt that for a girl." Marshall takes the needle and plunges it into the little bottle. He fills it up to the line and flicks it a time or two.

"Hey can you count me down, K?"

"1...2...3." She says in her 'I need sleep' groggy voice.

On three, Marshall sticks the needle into his thigh and pushes down to inject the clear super soldier serum into his system or at least that's what he likes to call it. The rush that comes with the shot is a feeling like no other. Nothing can ever top it. He cleans off the needle and puts everything back.

"Thanks K."

"Yeah... You know you should really get over your fear of needles."

"I'm not scared of needles. I'm scared of using the needles. Like I don't wanna hurt anyone or do anything wrong."

"Marsh you've been taking T shots for almost two years. I'm pretty sure you know what you're doing." She says laughing a little.

"Yeah yeah. Anyways what do you think of her?"

"I mean. I don't know much about her, but from what I've heard and noticed about her earlier tonight is that she's super smart, really nice, cute and sassy. So basically your dream girl."

"Ugh I know. Thanks Keila."

"No problem. I'm always here for you. By the way, you should hook up that friend of hers with Jake. I've seen him check her out a time or two."

"I mean I can try. I don't even know her name. I kind of just refer to her as rainbow. I'll find out what I can. Thanks K. I'll let you sleep now."

"OH THANK GOD!" Was the last thing he heard before hearing the click of his call ending.

* * *

Bonnibel calls up Lady as soon as she get into the house. She answers right away with a "How'd it go?"

"Wow hi to you too."

"I'm sorry. Hi. How'd it go?!"

"It was fun. It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. He needs to work on his manners but overall I thought it was really fun." Bubblegum says as she goes up the stairs into her room and flops into her bed.

"What'd you guys do?"

"We went rock climbing."

"Really? You're terrified of heights!"

"I know. It was scary at first but it became fun with him."

"Ooo I love it. When are you going out again?"

"Next Friday. I would've gone out earlier but I didn't wanna seem too easy. Did I seem too easy?" Bonnibel asks now panicking a little.

"You're asking the wrong girl. If that was his friend, Jake, I would've jumped in the car." Lady says with a laugh.

Then the two talked until one of em fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! I am so sorry I just quit uploading this story out of the blue. I actually joined the United States Army! Yeah. Big fucking accomplishment. So during the time I stopped updating to now I've been at basic and/or preparing for basic training, but now I am in AIT and have access to my tablet, so if the formatting is different, apologies. Anyways! Please enjoy and thank you for waiting and all the support.**

* * *

"The Jerk Theory chapter 5!" Keila says as she films from the drivers seat and you can see Marshall coming out of his house and getting into the passenger's seat. He realizes the camera is rolling and he shoots Keila a look.

"Really K?"

 **SOMETIME EARLIER:**

The sun began peeking over the horizon shining bright golden yellow rays over the town of Ooo at 7 am. The warm colors of yellow and red mix together to make a breathtaking orange which collide with the cool color of deep blue creating the most beautiful sunrise. They don't call it Sunday for nothing. Too bad no one was up to see it.

Marshall Lee finally gets up at noon WAY past sunrise. He gets dressed and makes his way downstairs to make himself some breakfast. Today Keila and Marshall made plans to go to the arcade and music store at the mall. He thinks back to last night and how he felt like he could be himself around Bubblegum. The last time that happened was... Ash. At least when they first started dating. Going farther back into the past he can remember his freshman year and how he got stuck with Ash as his history partner.

* * *

It was the second month of freshman year for young Marshall but back then he still went by Marceline and presented as a female. He took his seat once the bell rang and the teacher presented the class with a project. They had to research a World War II leader with a partner and present it. Marshall was paired with Ash and needless to say they didn't get much done. On presentation day they stood in front of the class with a one slide PowerPoint that had a white background and "Hitler" in plain black font. Luckily, Marshall used his previous knowledge from middle school to barely earn them a C. Shortly after that they started dating but you know how that ended.

* * *

A honk breaks Marshall's train of thought. He puts on his shoes and jogs out of his house to see Keila's car out front.

"Hey K." He says as he gets in shotgun. They talk about anything and everything until the get to the mall. Music, record deals, college... Ugh college. Marshall's dad has been on his case about college for the past year and he's cracking down harder since it's senior year.

"My dad's all 'you need to fill out scholarships, apply to Harvard, forget music' and all that crud." Marshall says in a mocking tone.

"Harvard? Does your dad even know you?" Keila asks letting out a small laugh.

"No of course not cause if he did he'd know I want to do music. I don't really want to go to college but I know I have to. Unless we become the next 'Beatles' our music careers will fall through sooner or later, preferably later."

"C'mon Marsh. You can't think like that. We'll be even BIGGER than the Beatles."

"Haha yeah... You're right."

They made it to the mall and went straight to the arcade. They exchanged a $50 and got a huge cup of tokens. The first game they played was of course skeeball. Keila ended up winning and they had a good amount of tickets afterwards. They ran around playing all the games like DanceDanceRevolution, basketball, pinball, the stupid big wheel that gives you like 5 tickets on average. They just finished with the Fast and Furious racing game when Keila ran off to a sized arcade game with a screen in the middle and two guitar controllers attached.

"Marsh, we have to play." Keila says not taking her eyes off of the glorious nostalgia machine.

"Oh my god." He says smiling and face palming at his childish friend. He walked over to the Guitar Hero game and picked up controller number 1 then put in the needed number of tokens for both of them to play. They chose to play Through the Fire and Flames by DragonForce which is arguably the hardest song in the whole game. They both picked expert, but Keila chose guitar and Marshall chose bass. The song starts and Keila is immediately attacked with a string of different colored notes that she hits with perfect timing as her fingers dance across this tiny plastic guitar.

"Remember this is how we first met?" Keila says not taking her eyes of the screen and getting 100 note streaks.

* * *

Flashback to a small Marshall Lee wandering around the big arcade with stars in his eyes. He looks up to his Uncle Simon who's holding his hand.

"Which one do you wanna play, kiddo?" The older man asks.

Marshal looks around and scrunches up his nose and mouth as he thinks.

"Hmm... That one!" He says pointing to the Guitar game.

"Oh wow. This is new. Wonder how you play it." Simon says as he picks up the controller. Marsh picks up his and looks to Simon for the next step. The white haired man quickly figures out how to start the game and chooses easy for both.

"So Marcy, you hold down these color buttons when the color shows up, and you press down on this bar here when the color circles get to this line. You got it?"

"Yeah! I'm gonna kick your butt!"

"Haha okay." He says as he starts the game. The notes came by slow and steady and both were doing pretty good. A fast riff comes up and both stumble, but soon gets back into rhythm. Eventually, Marshall ends up winning.

"Good job, Marcy! But you know that if they had the drums I would've dominated."

"I know, Simon." He says with a big grin. A tanner girl with a black afro about Marshall's age comes up to the both of them.

"Hi! I saw you playing; it looks fun. Can I play?" The little girl asked.

"Oh hi. What's your name?" Marshall says.

"Keila" She says smiling.

"Where are your parents, Keila?" Simon asks to be on the safe side. Keila points to a table with two adults chatting and glancing every so often at their child, just to make sure she doesn't go running off and making trouble like she likes to do.

"Marceline, you want to play with Keila while I go talk to her parents?"

"Okay." Marshall obliged while Simon walks over to the couple and introduces himself. The two kids can't hear what they're saying but they look like they're getting along.

"So what you wanna play?" Keila says putting on the controller.

"Ummm how about this one?" He asks landing on Jukebox Hero.

"Okay!" She says excitedly.

They both chose easy and ended up with average scores.

"That was fun! Wanna be best friends?" Keila asks. Marshall has never met such a happy, straightforward person. He kinda likes it but this whole thing is just catching him off guard.

"Sure. What school do you go to?"

"I go to Ooo Elementary. I'm in 3rd grade. You?"

"Same" Marshall says with a smile. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Simon leave the table and come his way.

"C'mon Marcy. We have to get home." He says holding out his hand.

"Okay. I'll see you in school?" Marshall says before heading out with Simon.

"Yup!" Keila says excitedly.

A month later school starts, as a tiny Marshall Lee grasps his two backpack straps on his shoulders. Simon and him walk through the halls of Ooo Elementary searching for Marshall's class. They eventually find it and Simon begins to talk to the teacher. Marsh walks aimlessly around the classroom until he finds his name written on a nametag taped onto the corner of his desk. Marceline.

He sat down and Simon came over saying their goodbyes. When Simon left Marshall unpacked his school supplies. A pencil, a notebook with a picture of sheet music on it, a few crayons, and an eraser.

"That's a cool notebook." Marshall heard suddenly. He turned his head to the source of the voice and sees Keila.

"Thanks! I didn't know you were in this class."

"I didn't know you were in this class, but look! I sit next to you." Keila says pointing to her name.

"You play any instruments?" Keila asks.

"Yeah. I play the ukulele."

"That's so cool. I want to learn the guitar but I have to wait until my birthday to get one. We should be in a band when we grow up!"

"Okay!" Marsh says laughing. And the rest is history.

* * *

(Tell Me What To Do by Josh Henderson)

Oh oh  
Yeah yeah  
Oh oh yeah  
Here I go  
On the phone  
I call her out  
I ask her to a show  
I'm a fool  
Can't play it cool  
That's ok cause baby I'm a tool  
Tell me what to do  
Just tell me what to say  
Tell me it's ok  
Don't be afraid  
Cause soon I'll be away  
But first then only date  
But you I hope you'll tell me what to do  
Here I go  
I'm in my car  
I figured out  
I'm doing well so far  
I tell a joke  
She doesn't laught  
I guest I choose  
And tonight I'll get the shoot  
Tell me what to do  
Just tell me what to say  
Tell me it's ok  
Don't be afraid  
Cause soon I'll be away  
But first then only date  
But you I hope you'll tell me what to do  
Oh oh ooh yeah yeah yeah oh  
Here I go  
I'm on my own  
I had a chance  
I think I knew it  
Long ago because you now  
I am a fool  
I don't now how to play  
The game its that ok  
Or am I late?  
Or do I need to go away?  
I'll come again  
Another day  
Or forget just what I said  
Here we I go  
I'm out the show  
I'll shine this on  
But the conversation is low  
Oh oh  
It shows, yeah I'm a dork  
And my chance is almost lost  
Just tell me what to do  
Just tell me what to say  
Tell me it's ok  
Don't be afraid  
Cause soon I'll be away  
But first then only date  
But you I hope you'll tell me what to do  
Tell me, tell me  
What to do...

Next Friday comes along and Marshall pulls up into Bonnie's driveway and honks the horn signaling to come out. Taken back by his lack of effort to meet her at her door she stood by the window and crossed her arms knowing he'd soon see her soon.

Marshall didn't think she would take this long to get ready. He rolled the window down just enough to see out and behind the window he saw her standing there with an annoyed look on her face. By that point he had raised his eyebrow in confusion but nonetheless got out and walked towards the door in a huff. He raised his arm to knock but before he could she opened the door causing him to fall forward a little.

"Hi." he says and she replies with the same but in a sassy tone.

She walks past him towards to car and so does he. Marsh gets into the drivers seat before realizing his date was standing outside of the passenger door. He was so confused, but he eventually figured that he had to open the door for her; he opens the door from the inside causing the door to fly open and hit Bonnie. She rolled her eyes thinking this is the best she's gonna get for today and got into the car and they drove off to their destination.

They pull up to a nice diner and get a booth by the jukebox. Marshall pulls out a quarter and walks over to the jukebox. After looking over the songs he returns to the table right as a new song comes on.

(Time of Our Lives - James Blunt)

"So... How was your weekend?" Marsh says trying to make this a little less awkward.

"It was fine. I did homework with Lady and planned the next field trip for the junior class."

"Oh that's fun. Where are they going this time?" Marshall asks.

"They're either going to the zoo or the aquarium."

"Oh that'll be fun. Maybe we'll see those animals we talked about last time." he said with a small chuckle. Before they could continue the conversation the waitress comes up to their table.

"Hi welcome to TT's. Are you ready to order?" The waitress says nicely.

"Yeah... can I get a cheeseburger: no mustard, extra ketchup, **and no pickles."**

 **"...and no pickles."** The waitress finishes his order. Marshall finally looks up and realizes who his waitress is.

"Oh shit. Hey Fionna. I didn't know you worked here."

* * *

 **Okay I'm gonna end it here guys. Thank you so much for your support and reviews! Again I am so sorry I just left this story out of the blue, but I DO INTEND TO FINISH THIS. See you guys until next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

**The Jerk Theory Chapter 6! Warning, there is one derogatory term in this chapter.**

* * *

 _"Hi welcome to TT's. Are you ready to order?" The waitress says nicely._

 _"Yeah... can I get a cheeseburger: no mustard, extra ketchup,_ _ **and no pickles."**_

 **"...and** _ **no pickles."**_ _The waitress finishes his order. Marshall finally looks up and realizes who his waitress is._

 _"Oh shit. Hey Fionna. I didn't know you worked here."_

* * *

"Yeah I got this job like a few weeks ago. I figured since we spend a lot of time here I might as well make some money and help out Mrs. Tree-Trunks since she picked up that job as an elementary school teacher." She answers as she writes down his order and sets down two glasses of water. "Did you want fries, a medium strawberry milkshake, and a slice of apple pie too?"

"Sure; make that a large shake, two slices of pie, and two cheeseburgers. Man, I haven't even seen you since we went to that concert last summer." He says.

"Yeah, that night got crazy. No hard feelings though right?"

"Nah. It was the vodka I swea-" Before he could finish his sentence he felt a sprinkle of water all over his face. He looks across the table to Bonnie who dipped her hand in her water and was now wiping it off onto her napkin. Taking the hint he gives Fionna a small thanks and turns his attention back onto her.

"Who was that?" Bonnie asks.

"Oh, Fionna is Finn's cousin from the next town over. She comes to visit every summer, but I guess they moved here since she works here now." He says with a little caution hoping Bonnie doesn't question what they were just talking about.

"Oh that's cool. Finn is a really nice guy. Sometimes I wonder why he hangs out with you and your band; not to be mean but he's acts like a hero when you act like a jerk." She asks.

Thankful she didn't ask about Fionna he gladly answered her question.

"To be honest, I have no idea. You're right he's a nice guy and I'm a jerk, but I'm fun you have to admit. Being a with a bad boy and rebeling is fun, no?" He asks with a smirk. She laughs a little while shaking her head, "No, not really actually. It gets tiring the whole bad boy thing. It doesn't work on everyone just so you know."

Before he could reply Fionna comes by with their food.

"Enjoy guys!" She says in her chipper voice as she sets down the two burgers, fries, apple pie, and the large strawberry milkeshake in the middle; she leaves the two to eat and tends to another party that walked into the diner. They dig right in and eat in silence; occasionally touching hands reaching into the big basket of fries. Marshall reaches over to the straw dispenser and takes out two straws and places them into the milkshake.

"Care for a shake?" He says gesturing to the cup before sipping from it himself. She rolls her eyes at the cheesiness of her date, but complies nonetheless and they share a milkshake together.

After they finished Marshall drops $30 on the table and they leave, not bothering to get change, but leaving it for tip instead. They exit the diner and it was already getting dark, so they agree to end it here and drive Bonnie home. Marsh pulls into her driveway and parks. Without saying anything, he turns to face Bonnie and leans forward, expecting a kiss, only for her to lean back and leave the car before he could say anything. Hanging his head down in defeat he composes himself and starts his car up and drives back home.

* * *

Marshall drives up to Bonnibel's house on Sunday and this time he remembers to get out and knock on the door. He makes his way to the door and was about to knock, but Bonnie beat him too it and opened the door. He makes sure to walk her part way to the other side of the car and he makes his way back to the drivers side. She was pretty impressed by him remembering up until that point; she wasn't gonna let it slide though, so she just stood at the passenger side door. He quickly notices and jogs over to the other side and opens the door for her. As she gets in she says a quick thank you and he closes the door, mentally scolding himself on his way back to the drivers seat.

They end up in a cafe just sitting at a table drinking mochas talking about anything and everything.

"There is no way you did that." Bonnie said laughing pretty hard.

"I did! I swear. I dressed up as a vampire and people thought I was the guy from Twilight. It was crazy, you should've seen the whole mall going crazy cause they thought Edward Cullen was there." Marshall said laughing along.

"Did you win the costume contest at least?"

"I did! A free root beer float at The Root Beer Guy. In hindsight, that was a lot of trouble for a soda, but I love root beer."

"Okay, so you're a real vampire, you like root beer, and strawberries. Now I can tell all my friends I'm dating a vampire. They'll all be jealous." Bonnie jokingly says. They spent the rest of the time talking getting to know each other, sharing stories.

* * *

"The Jerk Theory chapter 6!" Keila says trying to balance her tray of food in one hand and hold her camera in the other while keeping Abadeer in focus and in frame. Marsh pushes the camera down laughing and walk over to the lunch table that Finn and Jake were sitting at and take a seat.

"Hey dude. How's it going with your girl?" Marsh says refering to the younger blond boy in the white bear hat.

"It's going pretty well." Finn says with a mouthful of food. He swallows his sandwich and continues, "We went on a date to an escape room and she let me pick the theme. We had to solve puzzles to escape a dungeon!"

"Wow that sounds like your dream date." Keila chips in.

"Yeah!" Finn says reliving last night. Suddenly Jake nudges Marsh with his elbow signaling towards the two girls approaching their lunch table. As they get closer, Jake gets up and pushes Marshall over to the chair next to him to make room for the two ladies and grabs Abadeer's jacket and uses it to wipe the table top off for them.

"Aww thank you Jake. What a gentleman." Lady says.

"I agree. Thank you Jake." Bonnie says, impressed.

Seeing this, Marshall hastily takes some of his napkins and shove them into Bonnie's shirt for a makeshift bib; he also opens her orange juice bottle for her and poors it into an empty cup & places a straw into it. Impressed by the sudden change, eveyone at the table starts clapping.

* * *

The next weekend, Marshall pulls up into Bubblegum's driveway and gets out; he heads towards the door and knocks. The door opens and he's face to face with a beautiful pink headed girl. They say hi and he compliments his date while closing the door behind her; he walks her to the passenger side door and waits for her to get in before closing the door and making his way to the drivers side. They spend the day rock climbing and having a great time.

The next time Marshall picks up Bonnie for their date, he stops off at the nice florist shop on the corner right outside of the suburbs. He picks up a dozen of roses, kinda clueless of what to get, but roses are always a safe choice, right? He pays and makes his way to Bubblegum's house. When he gets there he walks up to the door, hiding the flowers behind his back. He knocks and she opens the door. They exchange hellos and he brings the flowers out from behind surprising her.

"Oh wow. These are beautiful."

"It was nothing." He says modestly.

"Thank you." She says kissing Marshall quickly.

"I'm gonna go put these in water, okay?" She went inside and put the flowers in a vase leaving Marshall stunned at the sudden kiss. Sure it was a quick peck but it was progress and he couldn't help getting butterflies even though he's kissed countless girls before. This was different.

* * *

Marshall's favorite band was playing in town and he got them tickets to their show. Before the show they hit up the merch table and even though Bonnie wasn't into this kind of music she liked getting to know Marshall more. He even offered to buy her a shirt; an offer she definitely took him up on.

After their date, he drives her home and walks her to the door.

"I had a nice time." He says smiling.

"I did too." She says. They stare at each other for a while before Bonnie pulls him into her house.

"Whoa!" Marshall exclaims before his lips were met with a familiar taste and his back against a wall. He's finally kissing the girl of his dreams and it's kinda more intense than he expected from her, but he's riding along with it. As their mouths move in sync, he traces her bottom lip with his tongue asking for permission. She lets him in and their tongues collide. She's kissing him with such an intensity and hunger that she didn't know she had. Marshall moves his hands down from her hips onto her butt and she suddenly pulls away. They lock eyes for a second, breathing heavily, before she tries to push him out the door.

"Whoa, hey. I thought we were having fun here." Marshall says stopping in his tracks and turning to talk to Bonnie.

"We were, but you should go." She says trying to push him out again.

"Wait, don't you want to-"

"I do, which is why you should go." Knowing what he was implying she cut him off and pulled him in for a deep quick kiss before violently pushing him out of the house. He stumbled a little bit running out but he caught himself and turned towards the house.

"YOU'RE SO HOT!" He yells. A light turned on from one of the rooms on the second floor and noticing this, Marshall books it to his car and drives off.

"I mean he's progressing. Earlier, we went out and he got me flowers" Bubblegum explained as she placed the phone on speaker and set it on the table.

"Aw that's so cute" You can hear a voice from the other end of the line. "Any word about Jake?"

"No. If you want to go out with him that badly, why don't you ask him yourself Lady? I don't think he'll get the hint for while," Bubblegum says changing into her pajamas.

"I'll probably have to with prom coming up in a month you know?"

* * *

On Monday, Marshall and the gang walks into the male bathrooms in the locker room after gym holding a basketball. They all over to the sinks and throws water onto themselves while Marshall fixes his hair.

"So you got close, but no action?" Bongo says washing his face over the sink.

"No man, I mean I can't tell if she even wants to. She said she did, but does the opposite." Marsh says his back to the sink leaning against them fidgeting with the basketball. Soon after, Braco comes out of the stalls shirtless and walks over to the sinks.

"You know a _real_ man would've sealed the deal a long time ago. Looks like you're losing your edge, Abadeer." He says washing his hands and walking out.

"Don't listen to him. Hey, any word on Lady yet?" Jake asks.

"Dude, just ask her before its too late. Prom is coming up." Finn chimes in.

"What if she says no?"

"Then you let it go and move on. Plenty of other chicks to go with." Marsh says in a huff walking out of the locker room. Of course he didn't mean that. A few weeks ago yeah he would've meant it, but he was just irritated by Braco and what he said.

Later at lunch, Marshall is behind Bonnie in the lunch line thinking about what Braco said earlier.

"Hey you know what we should do this weekend?" Marshall says picking up a juice bottle.

"Hmm?" Bonnie replies.

"We should take our relationship to the next level." Bonnie give him the same look she's been giving him for the last couple weeks every time this subject comes up.

"You know I want to, but a relationship built on sex makes them more likely to cheat when an attractive opportunity presents itself." She says walking away to the register.

"Nice Theory. It's stupid." He says softly enough that she doesn't hear. As he turns to the register his water bottle on his tray falls off and he crouches down to pick it up. He looks up just in time to see a blond girl with admittedly nice butt walk by and he makes no attempt to cover up the fact that he's checking her out. She notices and winks at him as she walks out of the cafeteria. He smiles, but quickly snaps out of it forgetting about Bonnie. He recovers and walks over to the register to see her giving him and I told you look and smirking as she walks away saying "He's paying."

"Uh. Is today girls eat free day or something?" He says reaching for his wallet, knowing full well it wasn't.

* * *

In the library, the gang except for Marshall take a seat at one of the tables.

"So what do we have so far?" Keila says taking out a bunch of sheet music.

"We got 4 songs. Three of which are punk/rock and one ukulele rap. This lineup looks like a bad Twenty One Pilots cover band came up with it!" Bongo says banging his forehead against the table and lays there. Finn uses his arm as a kickstand and mindlessly flips through a history book. He glances at the aisles of the library and perks up slapping Jake in the arm.

"Ow! What the heck?" Jake asks holding his arm.

"Tiffany, 12 o' clock." Finn says. Jake gets up and tries to go towards to bookshelves looking for Tiffany but he was nowhere to be seen. Jake turns around to go back towards the table when he comes face to face with Tiffany. Jake jumps from being startled before calming down and and greeting the blond boy.

"Hey Tiffany."

"Why don't you wanna be friends with me?!" Tiffany yells attracting the attention of everyone in the library.

"Shh! Tiffany we were friends in middle school but I got new friends now and you should get new friends too. I don't steal anymore." Jake says trying to lower his voice hoping that Tiffany would match him.

"You will be my best friend or my name isn't Tiffany!" He yells running out of the library while everyone watches.

"Glob..." Jake says as he flops down into his chair.

"Jeez you really got that dude hung up on you." Guy chimes in.

"Looks like that dude could use a vacation. Hey wait!" Keila exclaims as she starts jotting down any and all lyrics that come to her onto a piece of paper.

* * *

Marshall Lee and the Scream Queens meet up at the Nightosphere for band practice.

"Awesome! Keila what would we do without you?" Marshall exclaims after she told him she was able to come up with a new song during study hall.

"Probably have no girl, no band, and no friends." She says tuning her guitar.

"You know you're probably right. You're our almighty glob of course." Marsh says bowing down to his best friend.

"C'mon I'm excited to see Keila shred this guitar solo." Guy says. They all get ready at their respective instruments.

 **(Vacation by Simple Plan)**

I know a girl who's obsessed with a guy  
She talks for hours and still tomorrow  
She'll call again and when he thinks that this could be the end,  
She calls again  
At six in the morning she waits at the door  
He tells her to leave but still tomorrow she'll be there again  
She won't let go

Can't you just go somewhere on vacation?  
I could book your flight  
And pack your bags  
If you want  
A one way ticket out of my life  
Watching you fly away  
I never liked you

She doesn't care if he tries to ignore  
He runs away but still she follows  
Shell try again  
She likes to think shell get him in the end  
Yeah

Can't you just go somewhere on vacation?  
I could book your flight  
And pack your bags  
If you want  
A one way ticket out of my life  
Watching you fly away  
I never liked you  
I never wanted you  
I never liked you  
I never wanted you, whoa

Can't you just go somewhere on vacation?  
I could book your flight  
And pack your bags  
If you want  
A one way ticket out of my life  
Watching you fly away  
I never liked you  
I never wanted you  
I never liked you  
I'm not in love with you

"Damn! We killed it." Bongo yells.

"Yeah Keila. This is a really rad song!" Guy pitches in.

"Thanks guys!"

Marshall feels his phone vibrate. He notices it's Bonnie calling; he walks away to answer it.

"Hey Stacy! I really enjoyed last night, but I should let you know I'm kinda seeing someone." He answers.

"Haha very funny." Bubblegum says sarcastically as she taps her pencil against her chemistry textbook. Her phone beeps letting her know she has another incoming call.

"Oh hold on. Lady's calling." She puts Marshall on hold and answers the other call. "Hello?" Bonnie's greeted with a really loud scream.

"Whoa. Lady what's wrong?" Bonnie says trying to calm her down, but to no avail. Lady just keeps sobbing and incoherently scream mumbling. Bonnie switches over to Marshall hoping he could help.

"Hey Lady is freaking out and I can't understand her."

"Oh put her on."

"Uh sure." Bonnie connected the phone calls into a three way.

"Lady, calm down and tell me what's wrong." Marsh says just as Jake walks up and puts his ear near the phone.

"Who died? Your dog?" Marshall says. Bonnie gets yet another call and them to hold on.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bon. It's Braco. I've been thinking about you."

"Um I'll be right back." She switches the calls.

"Marshall to talk to Lady for a second." Bonnie switches the call yet again.

"Hey Braco."

"Clever. Not buying it." Marshall answers.

"Haha one sec." She nervously laughs thinking she switched the calls.

"Braco?"

"Hey Bon. I need to tell you something."

"Braco this is not the best time."

"I promise it'll only take a second. I'm coming over tonight."

"Fine! But only for a second."

"Great! See you tonight." He says as he hangs up. Bonnie switches over to Marshall.

"Hey I think I need to have Lady stay over tonight. She's really upset."

"Yeah that's fine. Talk to you later." He replies.

"Thank you." She hangs up and invites Lady to stay the night.

"What was that all about?" Jake asks.

"Oh Lady's dog died and she's staying over at Bonnie's for the night."

"Oh dang that sucks, but we could drop by later. I think I got something that'll cheer her up." Jake says enthusiastically.

"Eh I'll pass." Marshall says strumming some bass notes

"You sure? If you do something nice for Lady it could help you with Bubblegum. Think about it." Jake says walking away.

"Hey! let's practice a little more." Marshall says making his way back to the band.

* * *

Jake hops out of his car and picks up a cage from the backseat. He walks up to Bonnie's door and rings the bell.

Lady looks up from the tv and gets up from the couch towards the door and answers it.

"Hey." Jake says as he brings a small puppy from behind his back and hands her to Lady.

"I heard about your dog and my neighbor just had a litter, so I thought you'd appreciate one." He says taking out the camera Keila let him borrow to record.

"Wow she's so cute. Hey let's feed her I think I have some peanut butter in the kitchen." Bonnie says as she mouths thank you to Jake and leads Lady to the kitchen. They all make their way to the kitchen when the doorbell rings.

Bonnie excuses herself while Jake puts the camera down on the coffee table to find the peanut butter.

"Bonnie." Braco says with a smile as she opens the door.

"Braco this is a really bad time."

"It'll only be a minute. I promise." He says as he walks past her into the house. With a huff she follows him to the couch; they both take a seat.

"Remember the Valentines day dance? We had such a good time together. With prom coming up I was thinking it would give us a fresh start." He says holding Bonnie's hand in his lap. She pulls away before answering.

"Are you psycho? We broke up and I'm seeing someone else." She says mentally kicking herself cause she knew this was a bad idea. Just as she was about to kick him out he grabs her hand again.

"Yeah about that. I heard him in the locker room and he was talking about taking advantage of you and seeing a girl named Fionna."

"Okay... I don't know why you're telling me this, but I trust Marshall more than I do you just saying things." A crash can be heard from the kitchen.

"Bonnie!" Jake and Lady call out.

"Hold on." She says as she rolls her eyes and bolts for the kitchen. Braco is left on the couch just thinking on how to improve his standings with Bonnie. He wasn't gonna lose to some tranny. He was a real man and was gonna win Bonnie over again no matter what. On the coffee table in front of him he sees a picture frame of Bonnie and Marshall rock climbing. He picks it up and reaches into his jacket. He pulls out a picture of him and Bonnie at the dance and replaces it. Just as he put the frame back the doorbell rang. He looks back towards the kitchen, but no ones comes out. He takes it upon himself to answer the door and surprise, it's Marshall carrying a bouquet of flowers.

Marshall looks up from the flowers upon hearing the door open and the smile fades from his face.

"This has got to hurt. Deja vu, huh buddy?" Braco says with a smirk. Marshall doesn't respond.

"Are those for me?" He says reaching for the flowers.

"They're for Lady." Marshall answers with his words dripping with venom. He resists but ends up giving up the flowers to Braco anyways.

"Lady? Lady isn't here, but I'll let Bonnie know you dropped by." He says as he closes the door. Marshall doesn't move trying to process what just happened. What did he do wrong?

Meanwhile inside the house, Braco walks over to the kitchen. He sees Bonnibel cleaning the counter while Jake and Lady fawn over the puppy.

"Was someone at the door?" Bonnie asks.

"I had some flowers delivered to ask you to prom." He says with a smile. Jake and Lady share a look because they know nothing good could come from this.

* * *

 **And there you have it! Chapter 6. No excuse for not updating, but I graduated AIT now and I'm just waiting for some classes to start. Not much left; maybe three more chapters, at most.**


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